Why counselling and psychotherapy?
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People usually enter therapy because they are experiencing difficulties or distress. Life is rarely straightforward and often brings many challenges, some of which can feel overwhelming. You may be experiencing feelings of depression and isolation, low self-esteem or suffering from feelings of anxiety, without fully understanding why. There may be events from your recent or distant past that are preventing you from living your life to the fullest. You may be experiencing a lack of direction, feelings of boredom or of being trapped. You may be aware of self-destructive patterns in your life which are causing pain to you or to those around you. Feelings such as anger, shame, guilt, sadness or loneliness may be affecting your daily life, keeping you uncomfortably stuck. You may be troubled by issues of sexuality, of spirituality, or by questions about life's meaning or a sense of the lack of it.
You do not have to be in, or on the verge of, a crisis before considering counselling. You may be experiencing a sense of underlying dissatisfaction, or be seeking a better balance in your life. All of these reasons and more may bring individuals to counselling. What's in a name? The terms 'counselling' and 'psychotherapy' are nowadays often used interchangeably and both refer to 'talking therapies', the best-known 'brand-name' perhaps being Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Whilst some approaches make clear differentiations, there has never been a generally accepted distinction between the two. Perhaps what matters most is that practitioners are well-equipped to listen to and understand people's varied experiences and difficulties and to help them find their own paths to more satisfying ways of living. In some contexts the term 'counsellor' is used whilst in others the term 'psychotherapist' is preferred. Whether someone is called a counsellor or a psychotherapist, or both, they should be able to work with clients on a wide range of issues, for short-term or longer-term work, as needed. Person-centred approaches often eschew both terms and describe the work simply as 'therapy'. I use all three terms interchangeably, recognising that each by itself can describe diverse trainings, theories, and practices. What can I expect? Counselling is time set aside by you and your counsellor to look at what has brought you and what matters to you. Counsellors rarely offer advice and will not direct you as to what you should do. Instead they will help you to clarify your experience and situation and the different options open to you. What is explored in meetings will be decided by you. It may involve talking about life events (current or from the recent or distant past) and how they may have shaped or be affecting the person you are now. It can include exploring your emotions, relationships, and patterns of thinking and behaving. The counsellor strives to listen to you supportively, fully and actively and to help you explore these things, together identifying the right course of action for you - either to find resolution to the difficulties or to help find ways of accommodating them. Counselling can help you to understand yourself and your situation more clearly, perhaps from new perspectives. It can help you develop your own strengths and resources. Talking about things may take time, and will not necessarily be concluded quickly. You may find that one, two, or a few sessions are enough for you or you may prefer to continue over a considerably longer period of time. In my work, through dialogue with you, I continually attempt to tailor my approach to what fits you most helpfully at any given time. Counselling is one form of help amongst others and is not a panacea for all life's ills. In the first meeting you will have the opportunity to discuss whether it is right and fitting for you at this point in your life. It certainly offers no 'magic answers' to our problems and whilst supportive, is an unfolding process which can involve difficult and challenging experiences. For more information about Counselling and Psychotherapy generally you may find the following links helpful: The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy produce a range of information sheets and host a very user-friendly website called It's Good to Talk which gives clear advice about what to look for and questions to ask when seeking a therapist. COSCA - Counselling in Scotland What is person-centred therapy? Because people are different, I work differently at different times with different people. I am not in favour of 'one size fits all'! Nonetheless, my work is firmly rooted in the person-centred approach. This approach to therapy originated in the work of psychologist, therapist, educator, and researcher, Carl R. Rogers (1902-1987), who was the initiator not only of person-centred therapy but also of innovative approaches to education, human relations, and community-building. In the decades since his death, the approach has been further developed by practitioners and theorists in many parts of the world, and notably in Scotland. These developments have led to a number of different emphases in working, collectively now described as 'Person-centred and Experiential Psychotherapies', which have a long-established, robust, and developing evidence base. Indeed, in the 1940's Carl Rogers was one of the pioneers of psychotherapy research, leading the way in detailed scientific investigation about when and how therapy is effective. There continues to be a strong tradition of research and innovation amongst person-centred practitioners, researchers and academics Person-centred therapy is based on respect for the individual person and their unique experience and perspective, and on the understanding that the therapeutic relationship between counsellor and client, is of primary importance in the work. It is a relational therapy. It is taken as given by person-centred therapists that it is ultimately the client and not the therapist who can identify best what is problematic and what direction may need to be taken, even if this may not initially be at all clear to them. The client has within her or himself the capacity to begin and continue healing and restorative processes, and these processes can best unfold within the secure, non-judging, understanding relationship that person-centred therapists are trained for and strive to participate in. The essential qualities person-centred therapists view as central to creating a safe, supportive and challenging therapeutic environment include:
You can watch a short video of Carl Rogers speaking about the approach here. For more information about person-centred approaches to counselling and psychotherapy the following links may be helpful: The British Association for the Person Centred Approach The World Association for Person-Centered and Experiential Psychotherapy and Counseling The book Person-centred Counselling in Action by Dave Mearns and Brian Thorne (3rd edition 2007, published by Sage) gives a very readable, yet broad and detailed introduction to the approach. You can watch a video of Dave and Brian discussing their book and the importance of exploring new ideas here. Also, Person-Centred Therapy: A Clinical Philosophy by Keith Tudor and Mike Worrall (2006, published by Routledge) is particularly suitable for those interested in the philosophical basis of the approach. Confidentiality and Ethics |
'We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know'. 'The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination'. 'A number of incidents helped me to experience the fact that it is the client who knows what hurts, what directions to go, what problems are crucial, what experiences have been deeply buried. It began to occur to me that unless I had a need to demonstrate my own cleverness and learning, I would be better to rely upon the client for the direction of movement in the process'. 'People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don't find myself saying, "Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner." I don't try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds.' 'The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.' 'In my early professional years I was asking the question: How can I treat, or cure, or change this person? Now I would phrase the question in this way: How can I provide a relationship which this person may use for his own personal growth?' 'The kind of caring that the client-centered therapist desires to achieve is a gullible caring, in which clients are accepted as they say they are, not with a lurking suspicion in the therapist's mind that they may, in fact, be otherwise. This attitude is not stupidity on the therapist's part; it is the kind of attitude that is most likely to lead to trust'. 'When I have been listened to and when I have been heard, I am able to re-perceive my world in a new way and to go on. It is astonishing how elements that seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens, how confusions that seem irremediable turn into relatively clear flowing streams when one is heard. I have deeply appreciated the times that I have experienced this sensitive, empathic, concentrated listening.' All quotes Carl Rogers |
Sharing our innermost experiences with another person can be a very difficult thing, often calling for courage, and it is important to know that it is safe to do so. Living and working in the Highlands, I am acutely aware of what a 'small world' it can be and of how inter-linked people and communities are. I am therefore particularly mindful of the importance of working with great discretion. Counselling is strictly confidential which means that (apart from my own supervision, which is itself confidential) I do not speak with anyone else about my work, nor disclose with whom I am working. Please ask if you have any questions about my own supervision.
The only exception to this is my legal and ethical obligation to act 'in the public interest'. In Scots Law, and in most professional codes, this takes precedence over the individual's right to confidentiality. It relates most commonly to situations where there is good reason to believe that someone is causing, or is actively planning to cause, serious harm to themselves or others. In such circumstances I reserve the right to contact other professionals if I believe that is necessary. This would be in order to take the steps required to ensure as far as possible the safety of the person(s) concerned. I would aim to act as discreetly and minimally as possible. I would always inform clients of any action I was taking, ideally discussing things with them as part of an agreed plan. I would always seek their permission if at all possible.
All good work with people must be based on sound ethical principles. I ground my work in those described in BACP's Ethical Framework for Good Practice in Counselling and Psychotherapy. As my professional body, I am accountable to BACP for abiding by the principles of the Framework. If you have any questions, concerns, or complaints about my work, I invite and encourage you to raise them directly with me and I will give them my full attention. Such situations are sometimes described as 'therapeutic ruptures' and their repair has the potential to be an important and fruitful part of therapy. If however for some reason this is not possible, or you are not satisfied with my response to you, I am subject to BACP Professional Conduct Procedures. Details about this and its complaints procedure can be accessed here.
I am covered by full professional indemnity and public liability insurance.
The only exception to this is my legal and ethical obligation to act 'in the public interest'. In Scots Law, and in most professional codes, this takes precedence over the individual's right to confidentiality. It relates most commonly to situations where there is good reason to believe that someone is causing, or is actively planning to cause, serious harm to themselves or others. In such circumstances I reserve the right to contact other professionals if I believe that is necessary. This would be in order to take the steps required to ensure as far as possible the safety of the person(s) concerned. I would aim to act as discreetly and minimally as possible. I would always inform clients of any action I was taking, ideally discussing things with them as part of an agreed plan. I would always seek their permission if at all possible.
All good work with people must be based on sound ethical principles. I ground my work in those described in BACP's Ethical Framework for Good Practice in Counselling and Psychotherapy. As my professional body, I am accountable to BACP for abiding by the principles of the Framework. If you have any questions, concerns, or complaints about my work, I invite and encourage you to raise them directly with me and I will give them my full attention. Such situations are sometimes described as 'therapeutic ruptures' and their repair has the potential to be an important and fruitful part of therapy. If however for some reason this is not possible, or you are not satisfied with my response to you, I am subject to BACP Professional Conduct Procedures. Details about this and its complaints procedure can be accessed here.
I am covered by full professional indemnity and public liability insurance.
Preparing the Ground
Making a contract to work together in counselling and psychotherapy
Many therapists agree a 'contract' with their clients. I find the legal connotations of this word unhelpful, so instead seek to find an agreed way of working together, so that we are both clear about what we can expect of and from each other. I call this 'Preparing the Ground'.
For counselling and psychotherapy to be helpful it is important that you feel clear about what it may involve: the focus of our work, how we will work together, and what you can expect. These questions are referred to elsewhere on this website and are discussed in our initial meetings. I am aware that beginning counselling can be anxiety-provoking and I aim to provide as relaxed an environment as possible. As we begin, it can be very useful to establish a mutually agreed understanding of how we may best work together in ways you find most helpful.
Initial meetings can involve the sharing of a lot of practical information and it may not always be easy to remember it all, especially if you have been feeling anxious or distressed. In our discussion I will give you a verbal overview of the arrangements we agree but I also provide this information page Preparing the Ground. This summarises information such as: how I work; confidentiality and its limits; where and when meetings occur and their frequency; missing or cancelling sessions; ending our work together; fees and payment; how to contact me outside of our session times; and what to do if you are not happy with any aspect of our work.
Please check over the details yourself, and if you have any questions about it these can be discussed and clarified at any meeting. In my view this informed agreement is particularly important; therapy depends on your feeling free of all coercion and having confidence, as you face the issues of importance to you, that you are being supported in ways that are fitting for you.
For counselling and psychotherapy to be helpful it is important that you feel clear about what it may involve: the focus of our work, how we will work together, and what you can expect. These questions are referred to elsewhere on this website and are discussed in our initial meetings. I am aware that beginning counselling can be anxiety-provoking and I aim to provide as relaxed an environment as possible. As we begin, it can be very useful to establish a mutually agreed understanding of how we may best work together in ways you find most helpful.
Initial meetings can involve the sharing of a lot of practical information and it may not always be easy to remember it all, especially if you have been feeling anxious or distressed. In our discussion I will give you a verbal overview of the arrangements we agree but I also provide this information page Preparing the Ground. This summarises information such as: how I work; confidentiality and its limits; where and when meetings occur and their frequency; missing or cancelling sessions; ending our work together; fees and payment; how to contact me outside of our session times; and what to do if you are not happy with any aspect of our work.
Please check over the details yourself, and if you have any questions about it these can be discussed and clarified at any meeting. In my view this informed agreement is particularly important; therapy depends on your feeling free of all coercion and having confidence, as you face the issues of importance to you, that you are being supported in ways that are fitting for you.
© Simon Spence 2026